I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
