she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
