dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
