I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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