And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
