I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
