I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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