People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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