marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
50% drunk capacity currently
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
