Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
