I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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