You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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