I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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