He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
