On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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