Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
