I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
