Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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