Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
