Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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