He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Randomize
