Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
