its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
