So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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