I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Im just a social blackout drinker.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
