so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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