Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
