she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
