Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
