Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
