Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize