can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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