I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
