Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
