drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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