when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
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