i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize