talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Michael Bay diarrhea
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
A+ Viking dick
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
