Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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