i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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