i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
