What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
