you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Randomize
