it was like his penis was on wheels.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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