She is in my trunk
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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