I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
