We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Randomize
