Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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