I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
