whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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