marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
