i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize