I'm pants shitting drunk right now
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
