So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
