i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
