I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
