I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
