I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
