Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
