i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
