butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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