There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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